Thursday, 20 June 2013

The Mummy Shower

Mummy just wants to have ONE shower,
Without the WallyBubba, the Octopals, and Duck.
She'd like time to rinse the shower-gel off,
Before her toothbrush is getting a suck.

She'd love to have ten minutes 'me' time,
To wash the porridge (and hope) from her hair.
And remember what it's like to be crumb-free,
How the hell did a rice-cake get stuck there...?

Oh, Mummy would love to bathe by herself,
Forget the bastard no-more-tears shampoo. 
She dreams of face-masks, conditioner and shaving of legs...
not half-time hairbrush rescue from the loo. 

Mummy just wants time to get ready alone,
But with an 18-month-old you're having a laugh.
She'd actually sell both her kidneys on eBay,
If it meant she could go solo in the bath.

Yes Mummy just wants to take ONE shower,
Without a toddler licking the contents of the bin.
One that's hot, and lonely, and faeces-free,
And is accompanied by a shower-ready gin.



#itsalltrue
#shower-readyGIN


6 comments:

  1. This is why I always shower late at night. It's the only way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol...this is why I never shower...

      Delete
  2. lol, I had this pre-toddler delusion about how I would get up first, have my shower and get ready before my little man gently wakes up.

    The reality is that he wakes up first, goes from asleep to chaotic in a second, if I don't get out of bed straight away he does something crazy like pulls the whole of the toilet paper of the roll (but Mummy I've made a crocodile nest) and I then have a shower, washing my hair with 2in1 and using men's shower gel my husband got for Christmas because getting out the shower to find a new bottle of my own just gives my son more 'let loose toddler craziness' time.

    As I shower he sits on the edge of the bath chewing everyone's toothbrushes but his own, pouring a whole bottle of bubble bath down the sink and wiping sudocrem across the taps and probably in his hair.

    ...and yet some Mums really do live my pre-toddler delusion! (Huge jealous sigh)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. too funny... I was the same... used to pop her on the bed, nip off and have a shower and wonder how it would ever be different... I haven't washed in about three days... and when I did it was with baby-wipes while she slept in the buggy. In Boots. Sobbing. :) LOL x

      Delete
  3. This is brilliant! I don't even get to poo in peace since Bob arrived. :) x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol ;) oh to go to loo alone... *stares off into the distance vacantly*

      Delete

The Mummy Shower

Mummy just wants to have ONE shower,
Without the WallyBubba, the Octopals, and Duck.
She'd like time to rinse the shower-gel off,
Before her toothbrush is getting a suck.

She'd love to have ten minutes 'me' time,
To wash the porridge (and hope) from her hair.
And remember what it's like to be crumb-free,
How the hell did a rice-cake get stuck there...?

Oh, Mummy would love to bathe by herself,
Forget the bastard no-more-tears shampoo. 
She dreams of face-masks, conditioner and shaving of legs...
not half-time hairbrush rescue from the loo. 

Mummy just wants time to get ready alone,
But with an 18-month-old you're having a laugh.
She'd actually sell both her kidneys on eBay,
If it meant she could go solo in the bath.

Yes Mummy just wants to take ONE shower,
Without a toddler licking the contents of the bin.
One that's hot, and lonely, and faeces-free,
And is accompanied by a shower-ready gin.



#itsalltrue
#shower-readyGIN


6 comments:

  1. This is why I always shower late at night. It's the only way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol...this is why I never shower...

      Delete
  2. lol, I had this pre-toddler delusion about how I would get up first, have my shower and get ready before my little man gently wakes up.

    The reality is that he wakes up first, goes from asleep to chaotic in a second, if I don't get out of bed straight away he does something crazy like pulls the whole of the toilet paper of the roll (but Mummy I've made a crocodile nest) and I then have a shower, washing my hair with 2in1 and using men's shower gel my husband got for Christmas because getting out the shower to find a new bottle of my own just gives my son more 'let loose toddler craziness' time.

    As I shower he sits on the edge of the bath chewing everyone's toothbrushes but his own, pouring a whole bottle of bubble bath down the sink and wiping sudocrem across the taps and probably in his hair.

    ...and yet some Mums really do live my pre-toddler delusion! (Huge jealous sigh)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. too funny... I was the same... used to pop her on the bed, nip off and have a shower and wonder how it would ever be different... I haven't washed in about three days... and when I did it was with baby-wipes while she slept in the buggy. In Boots. Sobbing. :) LOL x

      Delete
  3. This is brilliant! I don't even get to poo in peace since Bob arrived. :) x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol ;) oh to go to loo alone... *stares off into the distance vacantly*

      Delete